How to be a Popular “Evangelical” Writer

from Doug Groothius 

1. Write on a controversial topic with little understanding of it.
2. Be autobiographical.
3. Luxuriate in metaphors you don’t understand.
4. Take potshots at “foundationalism,” “propositional truth,” and “modernism,” without defining, explaining, or actually arguing against them.
5. Chose a clever title for your book like, “Plastic Jesus” or “Velour Bono,” or “Red like Rock.”
6. Make the book short, with plenty of graphics.
7. Make a video to go with the book. No, make a series of them.
8. Write in incomplete sentences. Like this.
9. Use plenty of one sentence paragraphs, like this:

Huh?

10. Advocate something historically rejected by Christians in the name of “tolerance” or “freedom” or “postmodernism” or “authenticity.”
11. Be sure to “reinvent,” “deconstruct,” “reimagine,” “reconceive,” and “emerge.”
12. Pose on your yoga mat for the back cover, smirking.

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